the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
