just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
