ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
