Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
