I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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