are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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