I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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