Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
