I heard we made out
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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