We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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