the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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