we're blogging at a bar
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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