I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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