my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize