It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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