Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
