Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's shark week go big or go home
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
