the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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