he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
