There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
