hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
