its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
