I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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