I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
