haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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