Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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