Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
