"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
