I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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