Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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