we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
