Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Couch. On fire.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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