she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
