i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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