I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
