i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A bitchslap is in order.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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