I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
