i would punch a child for taco bell
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
