whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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