I wish you could order shots online.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
