if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Barsexuality is the new black.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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