You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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