you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
