I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
