I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Less talking, more tequila
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
