You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
