i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There are leaves in my underwear?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize