I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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