You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
