Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
