It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
