we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my being single is dangerous.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
