Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
