Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
