I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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