Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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