And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
