Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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