OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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