I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
