I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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