Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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