I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
